Nix and Noli: Pass the Dutchie pon de left hand side.

So this has nothing to do with this post, but we had VBS this week and it was Noli's first VBS to attend and my first VBS to "teach". Magnolia is the bossiest kid I've ever met and has decided that adding "that's what Jesus says" adds validity and finality to any of her multiple commands to Phoenix. Ex: "Phoenix. Jump off of that and onto this cushion and then get out of my way because that's what Jesus says." - all while speaking through a microphone. So far, it's working for her.

------------ Ok. Back to the subject at hand.

It's kind of hilarious how often people tell me that I need to just get out and see the city and all around us so that I don't miss my family as much and I can "really enjoy" my time out here. I'd like to introduce you all to my son. Phoenix Benjamin Anderson. Nicknames: "The Animal" and "Ruckus". He doesn't even allow us to go to dinner, much less a big road trip to a place that has historical/breakable/irreplaceable items. He enriches our lives in so many ways. I'm sure of it. I'm just having a hard time thinking of any ways right now. I'll work on it.

So, we have been itching to go somewhere, but after Magnolia stole baby Jesus in the manger from Colonial Williamsburg (true story) and Phoenix has tested the title "Family Friendly" in every restaurant in the Baltimore area, it's just not very appealing to go spend money being miserable and wishing we were at home. Ya know?

Then Jordan comes home and says, "it's my birthday and I want to go somewhere". I knew he really meant it because he has been witness to some of the worst public meltdowns in Anderson history. We are not a theme park family because patience is not a virtue and waiting in lines with our kids is not an option. We have diligently stuck to this ideal until we heard of a place called "Dutch Wonderland".

I mean come on. Who can resist this?

Look how happy this family is! This could be us! It's not us, by the way.

And a castle? With a moat?!? GET OUT. GET OUT!

So.... we downloaded our coupons and loaded ourselves in the car. Am I the only one who has kids that start begging for snacks and beverages the SECOND they get in the car? I'm not talking just road trips. We could be on the way to lunch. It has honed my mom-turned-around-backwards-while-driving-and-looking-forward-while-digging-through-the-diaper bag-and-trying-to-not-be-super-annoyed skills.

We finally arrived and the weather couldn't have been more perfect. The kids are super excited, Jordan and I were...umm...also in attendance. We start walking around confused and overwhelmed and Phoenix picks the first ride because it is a giant turtle and what 2 yr old can resist spinning turtles? Weirdo 2 yr olds. That's who. I honestly thought one of the kids was gonna puke on the spinning ride but they loved it. And I totally loved it too. I guess I still have a tiny desire for adrenaline in my life.

Phoenix spent the greater part of the day frowning through the super fun rides. My favorite thing about this ride was how all of the obsessed helicopter parents clapped and cheered after the kids survived their ride. Myself included. Bigtime.

They called this ride "Wonder Whip". They should change it to "Wonder Whiplash"

She was so exhausted that she almost fell asleep while her face was being painted.

Sweet face.

Noli and her handsome Daddy.

Combover Magillicuddy and his daddy.

Seriously. What is going on with his hair? Can someone please cut it?

Good grief. Hair disaster.

Have you ever seen a more beautiful princess? I totally want to paint eyelashes onto my face now.

Horse. Smelled pretty good.

Did I mention that half of this place is a WATER PARK? So cool. And it caters to smaller kids. I know. You're jealous. Phx would still be there if we hadn't dragged him out. Also, his suit is a size 3 to fit around his girth. He looks a little like a cholo.